Starting Over

Starting Over

Starting Over After Loss Starting over after the loss of a child is the most unpredictable experience in life especially. Loss of life, peace, comfort, mind, money, and wellness become the primary targets of loss. It has the power to effect any human on the planet. Most humans are not ready and will most likely experience grief and depression. Children take the loss harder than adults. The loss comes in many forms with death taking the highest toll on a person mental well-being. Major impacts come from job loss, empty nesting, move, divorce, foreclosure, and bankruptcy.  Bullying, harassment, rape, car accidents, assault, illness are just to name a few of the minor incidents that occur. and much more. Along with loss comes grief and depression. It happens whether it is wanted or not. Before The Loss Life was great. I was a normal wife, mother, and grandmother. Life was really good. I had my joys and gripes like everyone else. Our blended family of mine and his got along pretty good for the most part. I had the older two kids and he had the younger three kids. Our door on our home became a revolving door as needed. The "Do Drop Inn" was often the "Do Stay For Awhile". It was our way of taking care of our family. We both had jobs despite the fact that we were helping out the kids.  It is what you do as parents. Our family is everything to us every moment of the day. A parent can have issues with a child but you are still there for them., every moment of the day. You never stop being a parent. The Day of Loss May 14, 2011, was my birthday and everyone was there for it. I was thrilled and we had a great time. There was tons of food, fun and family time. After the cake fight in the face, we cleaned and everyone left to go home, unless they lived here, of course. Lilly lived in Denver and was heading back for a graduation the next day. She let her daughter stay for the rest of my birthday weekend. Lilly had about an hour drive before she was home and tucked in bed. That is not how it all happened in the end.  A drunk driver had a head-on collision with her that night about 11:30 PM. She did not make it home, she was not tucked in bed. We would never see her alive again. The phone call came at about 4:30 AM the next morning, Lilly Duncan was dead. From that point, life changed for the entire family especially her child. After The Loss The shock broke all of us. Her child took the hardest hit beside me. She was now an orphan as her dad passed away when she was eight years old. Dyrah became our little girl after her mom died. Life was hitting rock bottom for all of us. The adjustment to our loss was full of roller coaster days and nights. Nothing was happy anymore. We were all broken to the core. You have to learn to move on but the road of moving on is the toughest road to travel. You can't see what you are doing because your eyes are swollen from crying. Physical control becomes impaired by shattered nerves and mental fatigue. You have no control over anything in your life.

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